Hell after hell.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
1st May 2010.

Finally May has arrived. But my nightmares are still going on. 2weeks down. 1 more final week to go. I really don't know if I can take it.

I am really scared.
I am really tired.
I need that motivation.
I need that encouragement.
I need that reward.
I want a time machine.
I want to fast forward time to 11 May.
I want to rest.
I yearn for peace within me.

{ 8:01 PM }

Saturday, April 24, 2010
24th April 2010.

Decided to come to my blog and have a post for April before May arrives. Lets see, a few issues on my mine currently. Was wondering how I should put it across. Currently am in Guards Conversion Course, otherwise known as GCC. Honestly speaking, I've never been so shag out by army before. I can't seem to pull myself together. I am falling apart, even deep within me. Everyday, I can only hope for the night time to come where I get to rest. And when the time comes, I'll probably be worrying about whats coming up and wished time paused there forever. Yea, forever, you've got that right. Time paused on bed. For the past one week, all the sessions were just terrible. I feel as good as dead, lifeless and depressed. How can I endure the next two weeks? I just can't help but keep worrying. I yearn for that peace within me. I missed having it. I hope it will be back soon.

Next issue, I just feel so out of place. Where are my friends? Not "friends" but friends. Where are they. I can't seem to feel their concern. Even though I am in NS, that doesn't mean that I am not available 24/7. I still have my weekends. I just felt that some things should be at least made known to me. I think its all about respect and concern. I can't seem to feel it. We've knew each other for so long and yet now I'm getting this feeling that you people don't need me. Or should I say that I am preferred not around or even worse, forgotten. Apologizing is one thing. Sincerity is another thing. I don't last those last minute and not confirmed invitation. I really don't. That feeling sucks. Its just that bad.

{ 10:27 PM }

Saturday, March 27, 2010
27th March 2010..

Last post on 23rd Jan. Pretty long right? Hahaha. Sorry to keep you guys waiting but, I was just too lazy to blog. Didn't have the time either. RCC was such a killer. Been through quite abit and theres still more to come. I will persevere!! Just hope "Ex Summex" will be smooth sailing for my team.

These few months in RCC really made me realise how terrible backstabbing can get. I've really seen the ugly side of people. I think I am kind of influenced by it. I start to draw lines. Hate people. Sometimes I feel bad but I can't help it but be that way. Someone save me pretty please?

Oh well.

My birthday is coming soon. My grand 21st. But I am not making it a big HOO HAA! I don't like getting into the limelight and getting all the attention. Its just so not me. I hope I will enjoy myself. I hope. My mood is just not stable for the past few days, and the thing is, I don't even know why I am being like that. Everything just sucks.

Pathetic, human nature.

{ 3:33 PM }

The beginning of depression
Saturday, January 23, 2010
23rd January 2010

2010. I do not know whether I still have anything to look forward to. My world seems so distraughted. I am torn into pieces. I am losing my energy. I am falling into a world of darkness. Who can I turn to? Who will be there with a shoulder for me.? Who has a place for me to go to when I need to hide myself away from the world. That wish will never come true.. It has never been there. All hope is lost. Even till this very moment there is nothing. Nothing at all. Acceptance or avoidance. I can't choose. Leave me alone.

{ 6:25 PM }

Merry Christmas!!
Friday, December 25, 2009
25th December 2009..

Merry Christmas to everyone! Hope you guys enjoy your long weekends ahead!! Take care of your health and have fun for this festive season!

{ 10:40 AM }

Savour the moment
Sunday, December 06, 2009
8th December 2009..

Its a Sunday night and I am at home! You must be wondering why. The reason would be that I am on course; JEEP course. So Its going to be 8am to 5pm daily. Feel free to ring me up for a meal. :) I am going to stay focus on this course. I must.... This is just the beginning of nightmare.. The battle will be long.. Approximately 1.5 yrs to go.. Give me the strength and endurance that is needed.. Sigh.. Not in the festive season mood. :(

{ 10:31 PM }

Random post
Sunday, November 29, 2009
29th November 2009..

Sigh. Life is simply miserable. Really miserable. I hate army. I hate my camp. I hate the courses. I want to OOC.

{ 7:50 PM }

Molecular Biotech







:JIA WEN: =)


:LIYI: =)












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